This One Gets a Title AND Some Labels!

Here's a picture of my group from Arbor Day!

I am now an official member of the Grassroots Environmental Club at my university.  I know it's kind of late since we only have 1 week left of school, but I'm still pretty excited.  I wish I would have heard about them sooner.  They all seem really cool.  They basically do recycling and stuff like that around campus which is really good because the landfills in this town are ridiculous.  This town is not know for recycling.  I'm really proud to be a part of this group.  They all seem really excited about it too so I'm glad it's not just me that gets excited about weird things like this.  

I'm not having much success at reading/studying for my Public Policy exam.  Although I am reading about torture policy in the U.S. and I'm getting progressively more pissed off by Bush.  I really hate that guy now.  The book is talking about how the U.S. tells everyone that it's not alright to torture prisoners, but then they go ahead and do it because everyone hates us and is trying to attack us so we need to torture because everyone is against the U.S.  Sometimes I think Bush is actually a 6 year old in a grown man's body.  No, really.  I think one of the big reasons we went into Iraq in the first place was because he wanted to prove that he was a better leader than his dad was.  He wanted to prove that he was good enough to invade Iraq to look for weapons of mass destruction even though they didn't exist.  Another reason I think Bush never grew past the age of 6 or 7 is because he stopped talking to Iran unless they gave up their nuclear programme.  Giving a country the silent treatment?  Really, Bush, really?  

That's enough about that for now.  I plan on publishing an entire blog post about political stuff since I can't really talk to anyone I know about it.  That's kind of sad that I have to resort to publishing it in a blog because I'm either too afraid that people won't care, they'll judge me, or that my parents will find out about it.  I'm not quite ready to tell them what my opinions are yet... or you know, ever.  I don't really know.  But you have to listen to me because you're my blog and I signed up for you.  I even have a varification email to prove it.  HA!  

The Blog of BHAGs

So I guess I should take this opportunity to talk about my goals.  Katrina left a video for VEDA talking about BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) and I left a comment which said that I wanted to get my culinary degree so that I could cook in a lot of different restaurants/ live in a lot of different countries around the world.  Basically, I want to travel.  I'm not sure where I want to live right now. The latest is Greece.  Maybe I'll live their for a while.  I definitely want to go to school in Italy though.  I'm hoping to study abroad at the Florence University of the Arts.  They have an AMAZING culinary school there.  I've looked at the brochure for the different classes so many times and I want to take every single class they have available.  There are like 40 something and I want to take them all.  One semester is definitely not going to be enough.  Maybe I'll accidentally-on-purpose lose my passport so that I can't come back in the summer.  Haha.  I don't think it would quite work out like that, unfortunately.  I'm hoping to go spring 2010 and then maybe tour Europe or something over Spring Break.  Actually I don't know if they will have a spring break.  Do they do the trimester thing?  I should probably research that.  I know that I'm not going to want to come back though.  I never want to come back after I go some place new.  It was horrible coming back from England and landing in Houston.  I don't think I belong here.  That sounded emo...

I really don't think I do though.  There are so many other places to explore and I don't want to settle.  It kind of pisses me off that I have to be in school for another 3 years.  I don't want to stay here.  It just seems like a waste of time that I could be doing something else like going to other countries and exploring different cultures and learning something new from them.  

I wish I spoke more languages.  Spanish in high school was a bust.  I didn't learn anything.  I hated those 2 years of class that I had to take.  They were miserable.  I also wish Rosseta Stone wasn't so damn expensive.    I want to learn Italian, Spanish (but the kind they speak in Spain), Dutch, French, German, Chinese.  That's probably a BHAG right there to want to learn that many different languages.  It's probably pretty unrealistic.  Unless I went to the country and was forced to.  That's probably the only way it would happen actually.  

Countries I want to visit include: Italy, England (again), Ireland, Scotland, France, Holland, India, China, Thailand, Russia, Poland, Spain, Greece, Switzerland, Germany, Israel, New Zealand, Australia, Austria, Argentina, Kenya, Madagascar.  That's all I can think of right now.    

Places I want to live as of right now: England (probably somewhere in Northern Yorkshire.  Maybe Middlesbrough or Whitby), France (the countryside), Holland (I have family over there and it would be neat to meet them), Poland (maybe?) Spain (find me a Prince Caspian to marry), Greece, New Zealand, Western Australia.  Wow... another BHAG.  

Places to visit in the forseeable future: Italy (Spring 10), Florida (Infinitus with friends in July 2010), and London (for the summer Olympics in 2012).  I suppose I should talk about the last of these.  You see, my dad has BHAGs of his own and likes to talk about big plans he has to go to all sorts of amazing places and do all sorts of amazing things.  Now that's all fine and good except that he often doesn't follow through.  "After your brother graduates from college we'll go on a cruise" my dad said after I whined that a lot of people my age have already been on cruises (this was in middle school, I think).  This 'news' of course got me all excited so I went on the internet and started researching the different kinds of cruises we could go on, got as many brochures as they would let me take at the Carnival kiosk at the mall, bought a book on cruises from B&N.  I was pretty pumped.  That was nine years ago.  No cruise.  

This year there is a swim school conference in Australia and my parents were going to go.  They were really excited about it and I was really excited for them.  My mum loves to travel and I was so happy that she would get to have that experience again.  But of course, they decided not to go.  They decided that it wasn't a good idea because of the recession and all that.  I'm really disappointed.  Before these Australia plans and while the Summer Olympics were going on, my dad said that he would like to go to London 2012 with the whole family.  He said that if I graduated on time that we would go.  Now, I fully intend on fulfilling my end of the bargain, but I have no trust that he will keep his.  I know that sounds kind of harsh.  I don't mean it to.  I don't want to say that he can't help it because I think he can more than he realises.  He has the ability to take off of work sometimes.  He isn't a machine.  He is a human being and he's falling apart and making himself miserable by working so much.  It really makes me mad.  Sorry, off topic.  So anyway, when he said this I got excited again, even though in the back of my mind I knew they were just words.  It wasn't really going to happen.  I even asked him about it over spring break when we were driving home from the airport and he said that "we will just have to see how things turn out with the economy".  That means no.  For him anyway.  For me on the other hand... well that's a different story.  You see, I fully intend on enjoying my life.  I also fully intend on going to England again and what better time than the Olympics?  

Another thing about me is that my faith in the American banking system is really starting to wane. I have an idea that I really like.  I'll buy a safe, fill it with 3 jars and line the walls with pictures of different countries to act as enticement.  The jars will be labeled with the name of a country or place I want to visit.  I will put money in those jars and not touch it until it is time to go on that trip.  I will also keep my passport in that safe as well as envelopes full of different currency.  The only flaw I can think about is that the money wouldn't gain interest.  I like interest (unless it's being used against me).  So to solve this problem I was thinking about opening a separate savings account from the one I already have/ the one my parents know about.  I don't know why, but I don't really want them to know about this.  I think they would think it was really weird and be worried for me and wonder why I wanted to leave the country so badly.  I like the idea about having loads of different currency.  I could just leave whenever I wanted to.  It would be great.  I think that's a freeing feeling all in itself.  Just knowing that you could leave.  It also kind of makes me feel like a secret agent.  All the secrecy from my parents and the foreign currency and the safe.  It's kind of cool.  

This One Gets a Title.

So I haven't talked about this yet, but it was Arbor Day on Friday and my university did something really cool.  We had the option to sign up the organisations that we were involved in to plant flowers around campus.  The only problem is that I'm not in any organisations (not yet anyhow), but I really wanted to take part in planting flowers.  So I made up a group with Missy, Kyle, Shelly, Shane, Andi, Sarah, and Paul.  I got them all to sign up with me and then officially (or not so much) dubed us The Whomping Willows.  When I went to turn in the sign up sheet to the director of student activities she gave me a weird look and said "this isn't an official campus organisation."  To which I replied "does it have to be?" (even though it didn't say that it had to be anywhere on the sign up slip).  She then very pompously replied "well no, but we just might not make you a sign."  I didn't really know what to say so I just walked away.  I guess they've never had anyone make up a group before.  Oh well.  First time for everything. 

 

Anyway, they did end up making us a sign and our spot was right in front of the Student Union building and everyone passed it up and confusedly stared at the sign and then at our group.  Apparently the Ethics club walked up to our group and interviewed Paul (I was in class and didn't get to see this, unfortunately) and asked what our group did around campus to which I think someone replied that we planted flowers.  Bahahaha.  I love my friends.  Planting was a lot of fun.  Our spot was underneath a huge tree that could have very easily been the Whomping Willow (despite the fact that it wasn't a willow nor did it try to knock our group out of the way as we planted flowers around it.  Maybe it appreciated the flowers).  It was really pretty though and some worker guy, who for some reason hung out around our group the whole time we were planting, took a picture of our group for us but ended up taking it badly and Shelly's head was cut off.  Annoying.  It's funny how people have such difficult times with cameras.  They haven't changed that much.  The shutter button is still that big button at the top.  

Before Arbor Day on Friday it was Recycling day and The Grassroots, which is an environmental club on campus had set up a bunch of recycling bins in front of the library and SUB.  I went down with plastic water bottles and 2 months worth of New York Times newspapers and they were really happy that someone had come to them to recycle.  I think they had been ignored by everyone or something.  They told me about a club meeting they were having and it's today at 7 so I am definitely going to go.  I'm excited.  I asked Missy if she wanted to join but she didn't seem too excited about it.  I don't know why.  She likes to recycle.  Maybe I'm the weird one for being so excited about it.  I get excited about a lot of weird/nerdy things.  Harry Potter for instance.  There are only a few people I know that who fully accept my Harry Potter obsession.  The rest think I'm crazy, including my mum.  I remember when she used to lecture me about once a week about the dangers of witchcraft and how I shouldn't try any of the spells in the books  and how witchcraft was the devil's religion.  I think she was really scarred for me.  Now she's just worried that Harry Potter is the only thing I'm spending my time on.  She's told me to read other things.  Things about people that I find really encouraging.  She doesn't get the fact that that's what I am doing.  I find Harry's story (even though it's fictional) extremely encouraging.  How could you not.  He's a hero.  If you can't look up to Harry Potter then who can you look up to?  I think she thinks I'm the only one who loves it so much though.  I should seriously show her the internet sometime.  And wizard wrock.  Then maybe she'll realise that there are others who are like me.  I told her that I was planning on going to Infinitus 2010.  She wasn't too happy and she implied that she wouldn't be helping me pay for it because she didn't approve.  Not that I expected her to pay for it.  I'm getting a job this summer and I'm planning to work a lot so that I can go to Italy next year to Study Abroad.  Hopefully I will have enough money to save for Infinitus.  I really hope it works out.  Chelsey, Kealy, Jessy, Sami and I are planning to go and we are going to ride in a mini van because that is the nerdfighter way.  

I forgot to mention that I got to keep the sign we got for Arbor Day and I'm planning to get Matt Maggiacamo to sign it when I go to 3 of his concerts this summer.  I can't wait!!  AND I get to see the Moaning Myrtles!  I FREAKING LOVE THE MOANING MYRTLES!!  They were the first Wizard Wrock band that I liked and they are still my favourite.  I'm going to make them cookies.  And then when they (meaning the WW) come back to Houston with the Remus Lupins and PotterCast I am going to make them some more cookies.  It will be fun!  

Dear Blog (still haven't come up with a name for you yet), 

This weekend I went home for my brother's wedding.  It was really fun.  Almost everyone came down and the wedding was really beautiful.  I flew down and had to wear a skirt on the plane (yuck for flying and flying uncomfortably) so that we could leave for the rehearsal right after the airport.  It was really nice to see my nana and papa (grandparents).  They're so cute.  Nana's legs aren't doing so well though and she has to use her cane a lot more often and Papa's memory is going.  On the way back home he was in the car with my sister, her husband, and their daughter and Nana drove with my mum and aunt.  The weather was really bad and he kept asking how the weather was when they drove and picked him up even though they flew from Oklahoma. They just exchanged worried looks and responded that it wasn't bad.  Then he kept asking if Ruth (Nana) was back there and they kept reminding him that she went in the other car.  It's really sad to see them like this.  They're both such sweet and wonderful people.  Nana is getting impatient with him though.  Today when saying goodbye to them before going off to the airport I told them that I would see them in two weeks.  Then Papa looked at me funny and asked Nana and she exasperatedly reminded him that we were all going to meet in New Mexico for my aunt's graduation.  She's kind of mean to him about it.  I think maybe she's embarrassed or something.  

On the way home from the rehearsal dinner I was riding in the car with dad and we got on the subject of exams and which ones I would have to take.  I answered first with Intro to Beverages exam, then my public policy exam and he asked me what sort of things we talked about in that class and I told him that it was basically modern issues.  Then I told him that currently we were studying the Iraq war.  Then he asked me if I could tell whether my professor or fellow classmates leaned a certain way on the good ole political spectrum.  I told him that he wasn't very biased in his lectures, which isn't really true (he is biased, but in a very subtle way) and then it happened.  He asked me what my ideas were.  I knew what he wanted me to say of course.  He wanted me to say that I was conservative like him and that I wished so much that I could have gone to the tea party with Glenn Beck and that I supported to Texas and Rick Perry and whatever other bollocks.  But I didn't.  I just sat there in the car panicking and wondering if I could sense his suspicion or whether that was just my own paranoia.  Should I tell him that I didn't think we should have ever gone into Iraq in the first place?  Or that I didn't personally agree with Glenn Beck or the idea of his tea party despite my parents' pride that they went to it?  Or that I thought Rick Perry was a complete prat?  No.  I just pretended that I hadn't heard and answered with the next exam I would be taking, History.  Then I went on before he could open his mouth and revert back to the question and talked non-stop about how awesome my professor is and about the classes and his style of lecture and then exactly what we were learning at the moment in great detail.  I'm such a coward.  

Later when we were almost home we some how got onto the subject of Rick Perry and Texas maybe seceding and he said something that I very much disagree with.  He said that we (as in Texas) didn't like where our country was going and how we needed a change.  I didn't agree with this becasue we are changing, just not in the way he or other southerners want it to. 

On friday night I came to the realisation that my family is rich.  OK, if I'm being fair then I would technically have to say upper middle class, but still, that's quite good.  Now I'm not saying this to brag.  Quite the contrary because unlike normal humans who would be quite pleased with this information it kind of disturbs me.  I don't like the fact that we are wealthy and living comfortably when millions of others, even Americans are suffering everyday.  it just doesn't seem fair.  Not that life ever is.  

It's not, however, as if they don't deserve it.  My parents I mean.  They work extremely hard for their money.  Harder than anyone I know.  So I guess in a way you could say that it is fair.  It still bothers me.  

Also my family is on sort of a gun fetish.  They keep buying them.  I think they're afraid that President Obama is going to outlaw them soon or something.  That evening before the wedding I was in my parents room getting assaulted with spray tan from my mum (I really had no choice in the matter) I noticed that there was a pistol (I think it was a pistol.  I don't really know nor do I care to know) and I asked my mum if it was really necessary to which she replied with a very condecending look on her face, "uh, yeah".   Oy.  I really hate guns.  Apparently I'm the only one who feels this way though.  

Well I was going to write sort of an introductory post but honestly I can't be bothered so this will have to do.  

I don't really expect anyone to read this blog.  I suppose it would be cool if people did but I don't think it will happen.  There are loads more interesting blogs about more interesting people to read than this one.  

Perhaps I should think of a name for this blog so that it can seem like I'm talking to someone.  Boy or Girl?  Hmmmm... I say boy.  I don't know why.  Possibly because all of the names that are popping into my head just so happen to be boy names.  

I don't really know what to write about in my very first post.  Maybe I'll just update on what I'm feeling/thinking at the moment.  It's 11:30 and I got out of my Intro to Hospitality class about 30 minutes ago.  We didn't have lecture today.  Instead, four people from the Overton Hotel, which will be opening here in the summer, came and talked about the various opportunities that would be offered if we helped them open.  They said it looked really good on a resume if you've opened a facility.  They are hiring for all sorts of positions.  I went and shook the Director of Food and Beverage's hand and asked exactly what kind of positions they were offering in the kitchen.  He said everything.  1st and 2nd chef, executive chef.  Everything.  Then he asked me if I had any experience.  I told the bitter truth which was that I didn't have any experience working in a restaurant because I just realised that I wanted to cook for a living this semester, but that I hold dinner parties and cook for family and friends all the time.  He laughed and said "That's where it starts".  He then proceeded to warn me about all of the challenges that would come with working as a chef (as if I hadn't heard it from everyone I had ever told that I wanted to become a chef).  He told me that it's a lot different from simply cooking for family and friends and that there was a lot of pressure involved and that I may decide after all that it's not for me.  I've been told this by practically every person I talk to about becoming a chef.  Do they think I don't know?  Do they think I just drew this career selection out of a hat without researching and learning what it would take?  They don't know me. It's as if they expect me to fail.  As if they expect that I'm not cut out for it or that I'll change my mind.  Although it sounds like I'm dismissing what he and almost everyone else has told me, I am not.  Of course I'm not.  I have to think about it, then overly think about it, then dwell on it, then take a good long look at my life and wonder if I'm destined for failure.  What if I am.  What if I'm just a casualty that serves as a reminder for other successful people about what not to do.  At first when he told me this I left the building annoyed at the fact that I had had someone else reiterate what I already knew.  But then I started to wonder if I was just pushing it to the back of my mind and constantly dismissing it because I was living up to my old habit of wanting to prove people wrong.  I signed up for AP classes in high school even though I probably wasn't cut out for them because I wanted to prove people wrong.  I wanted to prove to my parents, my teachers, and my friends that I was smart even though, truth be told, I was just average.  What if I kept dismissing the inevitable because I wanted to prove to them all that I am good.  That I can make it.  That I am above average and that I would succeed unlike other average people around me.  So now, for  the first time in this career path, I am seriously considering if I've made the right choice.  Even though I question whether I'm making the right decision I can't deny that the signs have been there.  I used to watch the cooking channel instead of cartoons when I was little during the summer.  I had a strange (some would call unhealthy) fascination with William-Sanoma (or as my friends would say as we were walking through the mall, "not the kitchen store again").  I loved to hold dinner parties for my closest friends and nothing meant more than when Kelsey would tell me that she was impressed by my culinary skills.  

One thing that really annoys me about jobs is that actually getting one is based largely on prior experience.  But what if you're someone like me who doesn't have much past work experience?  If they don't hire you based solely on lack of experience then how do they expect you to get more experience?!  No one is hiring because of that!  And of course our economy isn't helping right now.  Oh dear... we have now arrived at the subject of politics.  No, no.  That's for another blog post...