Life of Adventure

In the interest of going with the trend that Emily and Elisabeth have set of updating their blog for the first time in a long time I am going to tell you about my newly updated FUTURE PLANS! It involves the mafia. Heheheh. And you were about to close this window. Got your attention now! Hopefully.

Anyway, I basically want to do a lot of things with my life. Which means that I have to get out of school like now. Or two years from now at least. After uni I'm thinking about getting a student work permit and heading to the BIG BRITISH CITY of London. There I will work at a desk job as a travel agent. I know it probably seems weird to aspire to work at a desk but for some reason I just want to do this for a while. A strange part of me wants to experience work in an office (like real office work. Not the temp stuff I'm doing now at the *Family Buisiness). I don't know why exactly I want to do this. Maybe it's from watching The Office, or from watching the Travel Channel since I was **7 but I really want to do this for at least a year and a half. And just living in London and having a normal person job in like the Financial District or something and getting to take the Underground into work every day sounds absolutely fascinating to me. I can't wait to do it.

After London I suppose I'll go to culinary school in New York City or something. Right after culinary school I really want to volunteer to be a Sea Shepherd. Like on Whale Wars. I'm not even kidding. I started watching the show and it's amazing. Maybe I could be a cook on one of the boats!! I mean who doesn't want to fuck with a whale killing harpoon ship?!? That just sounds awesome! I just had a rather irritating (understatement) conversation with my brother-in-law about whale wars and he asked me if I was a tree/whale hugging hippy. So I asked him if he was a whale killing fiend and he said "hey, whatever it takes. Animals were put on this planet for a reason." I'm hoping he was just being an arrogant prick to piss me off instead of actually believing what he said. My sister hit him on the leg and told him to shut up. I wish my dad had been there. He may be conservative and stuff but he's seen the show and totally agrees with what they're doing. He definitely would have put my brother-in-law in his place and made him look like an idiot. The problem is that when I get angry I can't really process my thoughts and witty remarks quick enough for them to still be relevant by the time I actually come up with one. I freaking hate that! Since he's such a bible hugger I would have brought up Genesis and how the first time an animal was killed at all was after the apple was eaten and was FOR CLOTHING! It never mentions animals being eaten in the Garden before then. Fuck. Why couldn't I have thought of that?!! That made me think again about vegetarianism. I think I want to do it. At least I'll see how far I get.

Wow, that was a tangent. Anyhow, I want to do that for a campaign or two and then do the chef thing. Perslaps the chef thing will take place back in London.

Now lets talk about long term. This is where the plan changes from what I had always planned on before. Before it involved living in London forever and ever, amen, but now it actually involves New York. I don't like this because it's still America and I'm pretty ready to get out of here. Also, and this sounds horrible, so horrible actually that I'm not going to mention it. Never mind. Anyway the new plan involves opening a restaurant, which is something else I had always been against. My previous thinking was that I wouldn't want to have to deal with all the management shit and that I just want to cook and work in the kitchen. Now however, with this idea I don't think I would trust anyone else to do it. I want to open an Italian restaurant. Now I know you're probably thinking very sarcastically that NYC DEFINITELY needs more Italian restaurants but mine would be different. It will be legit and GENUINE Italian! It will have legit and genuine pizza (it's been so freaking hard to find real Italian pizza in this stupid city that I live in), REAL cappuccino and espresso. REAL Italian bread and pastries that will be made ON SITE by a pastry chef. There will be NO Chicken Parmesan. That isn't Italian. It's American and there won't be any of that crap in my restaurant unless you happened to bring it in from outside which is rude and as owner and chef I would have to kick your ass. Or just kick you out. Whatever. There will also be live music every Saturday. Also art like all over the restaurant. Like copies of really famous works of art by famous Italian artists. Can you tell I miss Florence?? I miss being able to go to the Uffizi whenever I wanted (and for free!).

I will call this restaurant.... Ciao Bella! That's what the forward Italian men (in other words ALL ITALIAN MEN. Not that I'm generalising or anything) say to you when you walk through the San Lorenzo market. We will be famous for our wonderfully genuine Italian menu and our brick oven pizza! And all the pizza will be legit Italian kinds like *Margharita and diavola!

So since this restaurant will be in New York and since it will be Italian I bet it will be a favourite spot for some very wealthy Italian families, if ya know what I mean... (the mafia. I'm talking about the mafia). Here's what I picture (daydreamy music. The following narrated in a New York accent): It's a typical Saturday evening. The restaurant is bumpin. There's a line out the door and we've just started having to turn people away. The usual. I get called out of the kitchen because someone wants to meet me. Despite being busy, I love this part so I go. The waitress, young but professional and charming, leads me to a quieter back table. There's an older but still hansom man sitting at the head with a rather large family. The older gentleman greets me with a unique take on the Italian accent. It's not warm and friendly like I'm used to hearing. It's got a certain coldness to it that I pick up on immediately. Like this was a man who demanded respect. A man with a belly, both literally and figuratively. He told me that he greatly enjoyed the food and that I was a good business woman and that he planned to make this his Saturday night spot and that I should reserve this table for him. That he would make it worth my while. He says he understands that I'm a busy woman and probably need to get back to my work and dismisses me, but not before standing up to shake my hand and giving me a toothy, business-like smile. For a long time he never misses a Saturday. Then there's rumors in the news about a possible mafia war breakin out. He misses a few Saturdays in a row and then comes to me with a business proposition. He asks me if I would be willing to build a tunnel from his mall (that's what they call the string of houses the mafia family lives in) to the restaurant and that he would fund it, of course as well as pay me and the restaurant generously for our troubles. I agree and we end the meeting with a handshake from him and a sly smile from me.

Ok, that's the end of the New York accent part. Unless you really want to carry on. Who am I to stop you! Now obviously I will need a way to get around the city, what with my secret partnership with the most powerful Family in the United States, so what better than a little adorable, Italian made Fiat 500?! I mean is that not the cutest thing ever. And what will I name it, you ask? Vincenzo. That's right.

Sorry for that last part. That was like Car and Driver porn. I got a little carried away... I should also probably mention that I'm currently reading the Godfather. You can probably tell what that last part was inspired by now, huh? I should also ALSO mention that I know this is far fetched and crazy. The last part of this post is just one of those crazy what if day dreams that was further embellished and that I felt like putting into words. I know it won't happen, but hey, it would be cool, right?

In other news, I'm going to the restaurant supply store tomorrow on my work errand to buy a PIZZA PADDLE!!! I'm so excited!! I've always wanted a pizza paddle of my very own!

Oh yeah, I have a Twitter, by the way! I suppose I'll link this blog and post my twitter account on here or something. Perslaps that way people will actually read both of them!

*See what I did there?? In the Godfather Michael Corleone always capitalises Family Business when referring to his mafia family. I started doing the same with my familie's swim school business.

**True story. During the summer when it was too hot to go outside and since I was never really a cartoon watching kind of kid I used to watch Great Hotels with Samantha Brown every morning. I also loved staying at hotels when I was little. I was a weird kid. I also had this line up with my mum every night. After dinner we watched Emeril Lagasse, Unwrapped, and Good Eats with Alton Brown on Food Network before bed.

***The Italian restaurant I went to yesterday with my mum gave me a caprese pizza when I asked for margharita. I mean come on! They didn't even have caprese on their menu which just means they don't know the difference. This is also the restaurant where I started formulating my plans for Ciao Bella.

Wow, that's the most fun I've every had writing a blog! Perslaps I'll do it again soon!