Buon Natale!

That's Merry Christmas in Italian! : ) Danielle and I kind of do this thing where I say something in French (because she's fluent) and she answers back in Italian (which I am attempting to learn). I realise that this seems a bit backwards. Oh well! It's helping us both! By the way, Merry Christmas in French is Joyeux Noël.

I suppose since I've written 3 or 4 posts about Christmas since October I should probably write one on Christmas. As you know if you've read the previous Christmas posts, I get freaking excited about this holiday. Some might even say to a fault. Whateva! As you may also recall from the aforementioned posts, my sister and I were planning a prank on my other sister while she is away with the in-laws. I'll just remind you. My sister is very particular about her Christmas decorations. She hates coloured lights and she hates those big inflatable decorations that sometimes adorn her neighbor's yards. So, naturally, my sister, Megan and I were going to... redecorate her house for her while she was away. Operation Anti-Grinch. Well... that didn't happen.

This next part of the post is rather sad despite the joyous holiday and you may not want to read it. I completely understand if you skip over it (how will I know, anyhow?) or if you just stop reading at this point. I will let you know in BIG BOLD, RED LETTERS when it is OK to carry on.

Sad part:

The reason we did not carry on with the genius that is Operation Anti-Grinch is because I came to my sister's home and discovered something rather unpleasant. You see, I've been house-sitting while they are away, which includes feeding the animals, checking the mail and so on. I woke up early yesterday (Christmas Eve) because I had an errand to run with my dad. I had come in late the night before so I had fed the dog, Holly at around midnight. I was only going to be gone for two hours at the most so I decided to feed her when I got back. So I got back and went over to feed her and get some stuff to take back to my house. In hindsight, I should have realised that there was something wrong in the beginning because I didn't here her bark when I pulled up. She didn't come to the door when I got in so I figured she was off somewhere in the yard. I opened the door and she didn't come. She didn't come when I called her which I thought was odd. She is very hyper and gets really happy and excited when she sees anyone. So I went to one side of house and saw that she wasn't there. Then I went to the other side and found her. I smiled and called her name because I thought she was just being lazy or had wanted me to come find her. Then I started to get worried when she didn't move. Long story short, I started crying and ran back inside to get my phone and call my dad. He came over, my mum came over, my brother came over, and soon, everyone sans the owners of the house and it's animals were over. I started to get really scared that it was my fault for not feeding her even though I thought she would be fine cause she had just eaten late. I thought maybe it was something I had done and I felt like running away and never coming back. She was only two years old. A puppy still.

Conflicted part:

Everyone assured me that it wasn't my fault and that Great Danes' are susceptible to all sorts of problems because they are so big and that it was probably a heart attack. That just made me angry. Yeah, I'll just say it. I was really, really angry at... wait for it... God. That's right. I was pissed. Sometimes (most of the time if not all the time) I have no idea what is going on with him. He does things that don't makes sense or maybe they just don't make sense to my tiny, stupid, human brain. But really, why does he take things away. Why does he take people away. Why do little kids have cancer. Why would my sister have to go through ANOTHER loss. She had a little black cat named Cole and he became really sick when he was just a kitten and died. And then she had a little Australian Shepherd puppy named Bailey and it turned out that she had been born with a sickeness and died too. Why, in Gods name would that happen? What is the point? I understand that we don't have a perfect world, but really? Some people are trying to make it better. This may seem really harsh and sacreligous or whatever, but it seems like God isn't trying to make it better. It's like he gave up on us completely. Like he got bored of his toys and gave them away. I've heard that bad things come from Satan and that everything good comes from God. Maybe that's true. Maybe it isn't. If it is true then I think God has a say in what bad things do carry out and what does not. I think he can stop them. He just doesn't. I have a lot to be thankful for. I know that. I just have a really hard time being thankful when know he can take it away in the blink of an eye. And for what? I don't know. I would never know why. In my 20 years of life I haven't had to deal with many hardships. I've had two dogs die and a dog run away (also a couple hamsters, a mouse, and a gerbil). I've never dealt with a family member or friend die before. Honestly I don't know if I could handle it. When I was little my dad wasn't around that much. He was a coach along with a running a constructions business and would go on trips and stuff like that a lot. So my mum was my best friend. She was kind of my everything. I was terrified of losing her. I would get really upset whenever she would have to go somewhere without me because I thought God would take her away from me in some horrible car accident or something. I insisted on driving in the car with her everywhere she went because I thought God wouldn't hurt a child and that she would be OK as long as she was with me. I let go a little as I grew older. Sometimes, though, I would get really bad feelings about public and crowded places. I was kind of agoraphobic and would cry and get scared that something would happen to my parents when we went out. So yeah. There's my past as well as my complete misunderstanding of God. I guess I still don't understand him so that hasn't really changed.

So not the best Christmas Eve ever. It was really hard to see and think about and I would start crying randomly and get really sad. I thought about how she was still laying outside while we were all inside thinking about what to do and how she might be cold. Then I thought maybe she was just sleeping really deeply and that I would look over to the door and see her standing there, excited that everyone had come over. I also kept rethinking how she died. Maybe it wasn't a heart attack. Like I said, she was still a puppy and she wasn't very obedient all the time. She was also very big and couldn't control her excitement all the time so she would hit you with her tail or step on your feet on accident. My dad didn't particularly like her because he thought she would accidentally hurt the baby. Not everyone was particularly patient with her all the time. She sure did love everyone though. No matter what. I wondered if she started to think that people didn't like her so she just lay down and decided to stop living. I couldn't sleep last night because I had a really bad stomach ache and I thought there was something wrong with me and that I would just die in my sleep. I don't really want to die right now.

OK, THE SAD PART IS OVER. YOU CAN READ NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T GONE AWAY!!

This morning I woke up and made these little baked things of my Grandmother's invention called French Puffs. They are basically mini muffins that you dip in melted butter and then roll in cinnamon sugar. Then I made jam filled muffins. Your basic muffin recipe with Jam in the middle. Everyone seemed to like them so that was good. And of course we had my mum's breakfast casserole. Christmas brunch is definitely my favourite meal of the year. We exchanged gifts and I got money for my trip which was nice as well as a really pretty and soft pashmina from my dad.

I am getting re-excited for the Doctor Who special that will be airing tomorrow for all of us Americans. The Brits get it today. Just another reason to add to the list of why Lauren should move to England. I was beside myself with excitement a couple days ago before all of that Christmas Eve stuff happened. I am going to go watch season 3 in attempts to get myself super excited again. Tomorrow I am heading to Tulsa, OK to see my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin. They kind of had a blizzard up there yesterday so hopefully all of the snow won't be melted and I'll get to play in it and take a walk and that fun stuff. I love snow. <--Another reason to NOT live in Texas! Or at least my area of Texas.

Happy Christmas!! : )

It's time for another Christmas blog, I think

Hello! For some reason I thought I had already posted what I am about to talk about, but that must have been some weird dream or something.

I went home for Thanksgiving and it was a lot of fun. I watched Glee with some of my closest friends. I also talked about Europe with my family on Thanksgiving day and now my sister Whitney really wants to go. My mum and I were discussing plans and she was listening and she was like, "I've been meaning to go to Italy". Then later she came up to her husband, Jamie while he was talking to my sisters in law and I and said, "Honey, two things: First, we're going to Italy in May, and second, look what mum and dad got us!" (something for Caroline). She is funny. So, Whitney and Jamie are most likely going as well as my other sister Megan and her best friend Nelda who is pretty much an unofficial member of our family. I'm not sure about Liam and Lorrie.

Since then I've watched a ridiculous amount of Doctor Who as well as ordered two DW books. Also, it snowed on Tuesday and today. Tuesday was more of a rain snow and it was very wet, but it was definitely white and it was definitely cold. After having breakfast with my roommate I went on a detour back to my dorm to see the two known Camaros in the car park because I knew they would look awesome in the snow, and as a result of this detour had to use every single free surface in my room to dry out my very wet slash cold clothes. Today, however, the snow was of the dry variety and didn't stick to the ground as much. It was very pretty though and I realised for the first time that snowflakes are indeed all different from each other. I thought that was just a myth! It's beautiful and I stood there outside on the sidewalk holding my red glove up to my face with my mouth hanging open, looking like an idiot. I was just so enthralled. It was glittery and amazing. I want more of it!

My friend Kelli recently posted a Christmas blog which inspired this one. You should read it. In it she talked about Elf and how he made the snowflake cutouts and decorated the store in them. After reading this, I got up, looked at my room and realised how sparsely decorated it is. I have half a line of twinkly lights which only take care of half of my wall space (that is only a quarter of my room that has twinkly lights!!) and red tinsel garland stuff with golden baubles (Gryffindor colours) and candy canes hanging on them. Kind of pathetic. I looked down at my incapacitated printer and the pile of unused, unopened white printer paper on top. It will be used for good.

Yesterday was Carol of the Lights at my school. We all went outside to watch the campus Christmas lights come on all at once. It was cold and I layered a lot! I wore two pairs of jeans. Two pairs! I didn't even know that was possible! I also wore my new khaki trench coat that makes me feel like a detective and my new fleece gloves which are very soft and I never want to take them off.

That is it. That was kind of pathetic, but I am very tired. This concludes two very late nights in a row for me and I am not very coherent as a result. It is also very cold in my room at the moment and my mac mouse isn't registering my touch. It's like I have dead person hands. Goodnight.

You should watch this video. : )

Currently Reading:

Sadly, nothing at the moment. My DW books were supposed to be in by now. I do hope nothing has happened to them.

Currently Listening:

It's Snowing by Catchlove. Fitting, given the very cold circumstances. : )

Also, Somebody to Love from the cast of Glee. I keep rewatching the video on YouTube, but I think I'm going to invest in the soundtrack fairly soon (like early tomorrow) so that I don't have to watch Finn's awkward dancing.

19 days, 15 hours, and 57 minutes until Christmas!!

Fact: Christmas lights are a bitch

So true. Remember when I posted about the twinkly lights in my dorm refused to work because one of them went out? Well I have now bought replacements for that lightbulb and they still refuse to work. I just changed two out and managed to hit my head pretty badly in the process. I have a headache. I am going to try switching the fuses out next even though I'm pretty sure that isn't it. If it was the fuse then wouldn't the whole line go out instead of just half?

I also tried to get the bulb part of a green Christmas light out of it's holder with my teeth. It broke in my mouth and I had to spit the bits of green glass onto the carpet in front of me. Needless to say, it's not the smartest thing I've ever done.

I am one test and 600 miles away from going home. I should really be studying for said test, but really can't manage to make myself do it. I hate studying and apparently studying hates me back because it doesn't really embrace me with open arms whenever we meet. I keep finding things to do instead. The latest (besides sitting down to write this) has been the blasted Christmas lights. My hard work and attention to them has not paid off. I am upset. I am at the apathetic stage of procrastination right now. I could seriously care less even though I really need to care a lot since the semester is ending very soon. I just want to go home so bad! I had kind of a mental breakdown earlier because things were being problematic and I just wanted to stop dealing with it and go home. It's over now, but I still need to study. Danielle and Kelsey are already home and I want to be home with them so bad! Luckily I will get to see them and other friends on Wednesday because I have set up a Glee Get-Together. They are coming over to watch our favourite show and I am excited because I will get to see them and will get to actually see the show on a Wednesday. Usually I have to wait until the next day to watch it on Hulu, which sucks because the internet here is ridiculously slow. It should be a really good holiday and I've already started on my Black Friday list. Tom Tom GPS for $59 at Walmart? Game on. I also realised today how much I love the show Good Eats with Alton Brown on the Food Network. I keep seeing the seasons for sale at Target so hopefully they will be on sale. That would be awesome! I should seriously just watch that show to study for my Nutritional Sciences test. He is awesome and I am kind of in love with him because he is so fantastically nerdy. Hey, it's not that weird! My friend Austin has a photo of Paula Dean in his wallet because he loves her and her cooking and her abundance of buttery, fattening recipes. OK, maybe that is a little weird. Whateva!

Besides being upset at Christmas lights, I am also upset with myself about the fact that I have yet to draw a single Christmas picture for my Christmas children's book! I have a feeling that this will change over the Thanksgiving break. I will be with my family, we will put up the tree and decorate it after Christmas dinner, we will watch a Christmas movie and I will realise how close Christmas really is. I also think having my niece so close by will help motivate me as well. She's just so darn cute.

Well, I am going to attempt to at least read a few pages of my notes before turning in. Goodnight!

Christmas Countdown:

29 days, 23 hours, and 28 minutes (!!!).

Currently Listening:

Nuisance by John Reuban with Matt Theissan (<333)

Currently Reading:

Nothing right now. I just had to read a book about the 70s for my history class. Nixon makes me angry. The end.

Markers

"...which are exactly like goals except they are called markers." - John Green; "An Abundance of Katherines".

I am going to go ahead and take this time to put my markers out there on the internet in hopes that it will motivate me to meet them. I am working on a children's book. Kind of cheesy and random, I know, but it's for my 9 month old niece, Caroline. It's a Christmas book and basically it's about a girl named Caroline who lives in a village called Evergreen. But this village isn't just any old village because it's in a Christmas tree! In the beginning of the story Caroline is convinced that Christmas is all about gifts and she thinks and imagines what is at the very top of the Christmas tree/top level of the village. She goes on a mini-journey on Christmas Eve to find out what is at the top and meets a friend along the way who accompanies her. Eventually they reach the top and find, to there surprise a star and learn that the reason Christmas exists is not because it is an opportunity to give and receive gifts, but because of Jesus. So yeah. That's my story in a nut shell. I have all of the text written out and all I need to do is the art work. The only trouble is I am not especially artistic. I suppose I was pretty good in 7th and 8th grade when I was in art class, but that was a long time ago and I haven't attempted much since then. Sometimes I'll have a creative urge and try and draw pictures, but I always get discouraged because I like drawing people, but have never been able to properly draw a face. They always look like apes. Sad day. I suppose I must have drawn a passable face at least once in my life, what with all the art I've done in my life (which is quite a lot!), but I can't remember. I think I'm going at it too fast. I want to get it done quick so I'm skipping all of the necessary steps involved in drawing a good face and just trying to copy it from sight. I suppose I'll just have to sit down and scale it out one day (and soon!). I think the most affective, motivational tool I've found is Chia Lates and my Christmas playlist. I'll try this tomorrow. Promise.

I want to have it done by Christmas so that I can present it to my sister and Caroline. This sort of creative, home-made gift is sort of turning into an annual thing. Last year I made a collage for my brother and his fiance, and this year I am doing it for another member of the family. Maybe it will be a new tradition. Besides the fact that I have no idea what I would do for next year. Oh well. I suppose it is a bit premature to be thinking of next Christmas when this one hasn't even happened yet. It is, after all a whole 399 days away. ;D

Also, the other day I convinced my mum to buy me a coat. It had just occurred to me on my way to my incredibly boring Travel and Tourism class (which you would think would be oodles of fun, right? Wrong) and so I texted her that I needed one. This is how our textual conversation went:

Me: I need a coat.

Mum: Where is your jacket?

Me: Jacket. Coat. Two different things.

Mum: What do you need a coat for, Italy?

Me: Yes. And you know, in general. For one, they do wear nicer clothes in Europe and all I have are athletic looking windbreakers or fleeces or sweatshirts. Normal people have at least one nice coat that they can wear with dressier things.

...

Mum: You're right. We can look while you're home and the sales are on.

I win!

Before we part, I would like to mention another thing I read in John Green's "An Abundance of Katherines". The heroin, Lindsey said something really interesting at one point when her and the main character, Colin were talking about relationships. She said that "the best way to get people to like you is to not like them too much." That is the best advice I have never gotten. Seriously, why hasn't anyone told me this before? And why have I not figured it out before now? Let's look at too of my own examples, shall we?

Michael (junior year of high school): I wasn't expecting it. At all. I had kind of given up actually. I had played the "what-if" game with other guys that I was interested in, only to find out that they weren't interested in my in the slightest. So when he asked me out I was really taken aback. Basically we went on a date which was really awkward and I was so clueless that I didn't even know it had been a date until I found out at school the next day that apparently Michael and I were dating. Dating? Me and Michael? And why didn't I know about this?! So after a bit of an episode that actually lasted for the duration of the day he came up to me, apologised for the misunderstanding and said he would like to make it up to me by taking me out to dinner that night (this time I was aware that it was a date). He was nice and I was excited that someone was actually interested in me, but I didn't feel anything other than that. I didn't realised this, though until talked to my best friend, Stephanie about it the whole ordeal and she asked me if I liked him. We both decided that I liked the fact that he liked me more than I would actually like to have a relationship with him and nothing really happened after that. He didn't ask me out again and I was sort of bummed that he had fallen out of like with me so soon even though I was never particularly enchanted, but I soon got over it.

Matt (approximately one week ago): Again, I wasn't expecting it at all. You already know about this one so I don't need to explain it.

The point is I never particularly expressed interest in either of them, but they liked me anyway? Why? Because I didn't like them. It's a twisted world we live in. If you don't believe me and still remain unconvinced, I have yet another example for you. There is this girl in my Food Systems Management class/ lab group and her name is Katie. She is very pretty and quite funny. She's, I don't know... cool, I guess and you just want to be her friend. I can't really explain that very well. Anyway, I can't really explain her appeal without sounding weird and confusing so I won't even try, but she does do this thing where she just doesn't particularly show interest in you so it makes you try even harder to be her friend (? Like I said, hard to explain and I am now sounding crazy).

So she recently started dating this bloke named Brandon Carter and he is the offensive lineman (or something of that nature) on the university football team. He is a very good player and he has a bunch of tattoos and he wears a mohawk and paints his face before every game so that he looks even more intimidating than just his regular 300 pound self would usually be. She expressed initial excitement and told me stories about conversations they had, but I could imagine her not being the attentive, doting person he wanted her to be when she was around him. She just had an uncaring, nonchalant era about her. She told me yesterday in lab that she had broken up with him about 7 times, but he texted her "good morning" every day anyway and said that he didn't want it to be like this. So basically, she doesn't particularly like him (or anyone really. Sort of?), but that just makes him all the more crazy about her. She also told me about her now ex-boyfriend and how he broke up with her, but she was like, "well, I'm still in love with you, son" but it didn't really matter because he didn't love her. Same thing. Reversed roles.

I have another example for you, if you don't mind. Obviously I would completely understand if you've stopped reading long before this point. It has been quite long, but when I get going I just can't stop myself from talking about this.

So I have a good friend named Danielle. She is very nice, beautiful, funny. All that good stuff. She is now in her second year of uni and she has been having a bit of boy trouble. One boy in particular. Her best friend at uni, Elliot is in love with her. Who could blame him, right? So anyway, as much as she loves Elliot as a friend, she doesn't share in his wanting-to-get-married-and-be-together-forever feeling. She has different ideas. It's not that Elliot is a bad person. In fact, she's told me that he is a very good person. He is just not the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with.

Now, I've known Danielle for quite a while and I know a lot about her personality and things she does and does not do. She does not, for example, call. If you remember a few posts ago when I was in a feeling-sorry-for-myself mood, I talked about my friend who didn't call or return my calls and how sometimes I read too much into tiny things like that. Well I'm not even in love with her and it drives me crazy. Imagine being in love with her and having her not return your calls. It's not like she sits there and looks at your missed call and ignores it out of malice. She just doesn't call all the time. That's not to say that she neglects us poor saps all the time. She does call back. Sometimes. Most of the time even. Just not all the time. Which is okay because that's Danielle. Sometimes us poor saps need reminding of that fact and need to remind ourselves that she does actually care for us and think about us even when we're not around. She just doesn't tell us about it every time. For instance, I have to remind myself that she sent me a post card over her six week campaign in France over the summer in order to remind myself that she doesn't hate me and that she even thinks about me sometimes because she is my friend.

But I digress...

The point I'm trying to make is that even though Danielle has told Elliot several times that she just wants to be friends, it remains very obvious that he still loves her. All one has to do is be friends with one of them on Facebook. Just one. You don't even have to go to the same uni as them and you can still tell. This further proves my point. You just have to not like someone to get them to like you.

I'm not sure exactly why I told you all this. You probably already knew and now think I am a complete idiot for just now figuring it out. I am a bit slow. I am going to try this though. I realise I've given you bad examples of outcomes of this method, but hopefully someday it will actually work out for good. I'll let you know. : )

One more thing, I would like to, again thank Elisabeth and Emily. You are seriously the best readers anyone could ask for. You are both very loyal and I love reading your comments. It truly flatters me that you not only take the time to read my blog, but that you comment as well. You are both excellent writers and have wonderful blogs of your own and I am so lucky to have such amazing writers commenting on my silly posts. You both are awesome.

34 days until Christmas!!

Book I am currently reading:

"Ex-mas" by Kate Brian. I picked it up in Barnes and Noble because it was about Christmas. It's pretty cheesy to be honest, but it has it's moments. I want another Christmas book though. If you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments!

Currently listening:

I can't get off the Bad Romance from Lady Gaga. She is awesome.

As for Christmas music I have been frequenting the Josh Groban Christmas selection on my iPod. Sigh. He is amazing. And wonderful. And... oh nevermind.

What to put here...

So last week during HvZ I was walking by the SUB and noticed a group of people standing in a circle with their backs to each other. They were holding up signs that I couldn't really read because I was kind of far away. I did notice, however that a couple of them had tape over their mouths and none of them were talking to one another. Later on I was walking with Reid in the same area and we spotted one of our friends Carman standing with a group of people, all of them holding signs. So we walked over and greeted her and inquired about who the group was and what they were doing. We learned that they were the Gay Straight Alliance and that they were speaking out against the unfairness and discrimination against LGBT. I looked at Reid, who I was about to accompany to hunt some humans, and said that I wanted a sign. One of the picketers heard me and gave me one of their pre-made ones for me to hold. It said "No Hate!" We did a bunch of chants and a lot of them were pretty cool. One went like this:

Nani (the rally leader): Can black people get married?

Us: YES!

Nani: Can atheists get married?

Us: YES!

Nani: Can muslims get married?

Us: YES!

Nani: Can gays get married?

Us: NO!

Nani: Why not?!

Us: ASK YOUR CONGRESSMEN

In the beginning, I admit I was a bit uncomfortable. I hate that. I felt the initial discomfort and stood with them anyhow and began to get louder and less uncomfortable with each chant. I think the reason I felt a bit awkward is because I've grown up in such a conservative environment. I grew up in the Baptist church and we were taught that certain kinds of love were just wrong. I really hate that. I guess I'm not a very good Christian. What kind of scares me though, is that I'm starting not to care. I mean of course I care and I'm afraid for my eternity and all that, but my apathy also scares me. Why am I thinking these things and why am I starting to feel anger toward a God who apparently loves people, but only if they are just the way he wants them to be. I'm the only one in my family with these opinions. I don't even know what they would do if they found out. Even writing this is kind of scary because I feel like God is going to condemn me to Hell for questioning him. But really, why would he create people a certain way and then condemn them for acting on their desires. 1 Cor. 6:9-10 says that gay people won't inherit the kingdom. Why would he make people love another kind of person only to send them to hell for it? That just seems really... I don't know how to put it any other way... shitty. I just don't understand some of the things he does and it bothers me so much. Sometimes he just doesn't seem like he's very loving at all. I also start thinking that maybe, just maybe we are wrong, which is terrifying in and of itself. People believe in Christianity and believe that they bible is right. But what about Muslims and the Qur'an? They believe that that is right. Someone has to be wrong. Maybe I'm just simplifying religion. It really isn't something that should be simplified.

OK, enough religious talk. Even though I am scared about my own personal beliefs and that they may be wrong, I still think that they should have the right to get married and I still support them. Just look at the world today. There is so much hate and horrible things going on. Murder, rape, and we are STILL in the middle east. I really don't think we can afford to discriminate about love. Love is love. If we as Christians have the right to worship freely in this country then how dare we try and take rights from other people. I've been studying the Civil Rights movement in history and it makes me so angry about how the south treated the blacks. I just can't help but think about how my kids might be studying this era in the future and how mad they will be to know that we withheld rights from certain people just based on who they loved.

Alright, I've thoroughly scared the crap out of myself (which is not very Gryffindor-like of me). End of this part of the post.

I have mostly completed my pre study abroad work. I've accepted the two loans that I need to take out, I've signed everything, I've sent off my visa application (they are going to send me a letter in Italian and I am really excited!), and I have finally sent off the classes that I want to be registered for. Originally I was going to take really exciting classes like Italian Confectionary Art, Chocolate Artistry, Worldwide Cuisine, Introduction to Professional Cooking and other exciting sounding classes that involve a lot of cooking. However, I was informed that I could not take those classes because they were only for culinary arts and baking pastry majors. When I told them that the only reason I wasn't one of those two is because we didn't have a culinary arts programme at my university. They said it didn't matter so now I am taking Wines of the World 2, Italian Vegetarian cooking, and other things that I can't be bothered to look up. My study abroad advisor informed me recently that another student is requesting to take Introduction to Professional cooking despite there not being a culinary school here (it would transfer over and count for another class over here). I inquired further about the class and she said that it might be too advanced for me. I am getting really sick of people telling me this sort of thing. Warning me that chefdome would be difficult and such. I know! I am really getting tired of people thinking that I can't handle it. What do they know? Of course, I'm also terrified that they're right and that I will fail miserably and that everyone who either knew I was going to fail from the beginning or had faith that I was going to be great would watch me fall. I really don't know which one is worse. People doubting me or people believing in me and having high expectations that I won't ever meet. I've started not telling people what I want to do. I tell them what I'm majoring in and when they say, "oh, so you want to run a restaurant?" I just reply with, "something like that."

I started wondering if it was even worth it to go this year. I also started wondering whether I was in the right place. I want to cook, but I'm not even in a school with a culinary arts programme. What am I doing here? Should I transfer? I've looked up other schools with that programme and most of them are community colleges. I don't really want to go to a community college and I don't even particularly want to transfer because I really like it here. I've also looked into the Culinary Institute LeNôtre. The problem with the last of those is that it is super expensive. Another problem is that I have to stay in the state of Texas to complete my education because my parents signed up for the Texas Tomorrow Fund when I was a baby which they put money into to make sure that I would have enough money for college... as long as I stay in Texas. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that they did this because it means that I don't have to take out any loans for my education (besides the ones for study abroad), but I am annoyed that I am obligated to stay in the state of Texas. I really don't like Texas all that much, to be honest. I would love to move somewhere else. Preferably out of country, but I suppose I could bare with at least being somewhere away from this state. I just don't know where I should be. I could always go to University of Houston, but I really don't like Houston. It's gross. Why did I have to be the one who would pick a difficult career like this? No one else in my family is causing trouble. My siblings are perfectly content to work in the family business. Why can't I do that? It would be so much easier. There's something wrong with me.

This has been a very strange and long and unorganised post and you don't have to comment if you don't want to. I would be sad if any followers left me, but I would completely understand. Sorry. If you stick around I promise to have another light-hearted, normal post up very soon.

Candy Cane Kisses...

... are quite good. But that's not what this post is about. I just had quite a hilarious conversation on Omeagle and thought I would share it with you:

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: John Green

You: ?

Stranger: hello!

Stranger: i'm a genie..

Stranger: and i will grant u 3 wishes

You: I wish to find John Green.

You: Can you help me, genie?

Stranger: i can ...I CAN!!

Stranger: my powers are almighty.. and i'm here to service u!

Stranger: what can i do.. to help!?

Stranger: first wish!?

You: service me? Hmmmm. Rephrase.

Stranger: sorry lord.. but i'm here to service u...

Stranger: i can't rephrase it

Stranger: i was told to tell the mortals that

Stranger: if i don't i will vanish... POOF

You: oh dear. That sounds serious

Stranger: u really want that to HAPPEN TO ME? :O

Stranger: first wish...

Stranger: lets make this snappy

You: Help me find John Green on omeagle!

Stranger: ummm... whats ur name stranger?

You: lauren.

Stranger: is this john green.. special to u?

Stranger: did u have a conversation with him?.. did it end good?

You: hahaha. sure.

You: no to the last.

Stranger: ...why must u find him?

You: he's my favourite author. and he's on omeagle RIGHT NOW!

Stranger: REALLY!!????

Stranger: r u sure?...

You: true story.

Stranger: really... then i must help u!

You: please do!

Stranger: i can't leave u in this state lauren.. the great genie alex will help U!

Stranger: ..let me summon my immortal POWERS!

You: yesss!

Stranger: ..ummm yes.. yes... he is on right now!...

Stranger: he... he... ...OMG.. his favorite name IS LAUREN!!?

You: wow. that is amazing, genie.

Stranger: he... seems to be.. single... and ...wants to give u a limited edition of his books!

Stranger: ....he.. he is talking to someone right now...

Stranger: the conversation is going sour..

Stranger: he... he is about to look for someone new to talk to!

You: I should probably rescue him from that conversation then.

You: Thanks for your help, genie.

You: DFTBA

Stranger: np lauren!

You: Best wishes!

Stranger: u too

Stranger: take care

Stranger: i wish u the best on ur journey!

You have disconnected.

That's all I have for you now. I was going to post a more serious blog, but I am having too much fun. You should join in the quest to find John Green.

Braaaiiinnnsss!

HvZ is going well. The third day of the game and my second day of being a zombie is now. I made two kills today. I came out of Holden Hall from my first class at around 10:50ish and saw my friend Reid. I was about to wave and say hi, but the I saw the pink bandana on his arm. I smiled, put my bandana around my head and started to follow him. There is a rule that you can't devour anyone's corps if they are within 20 feet of a building and he kept walking by buildings. Luckily I finally got him when he was crossing the street. Poor, unsuspecting Reid was listening to his headphones the whole time. He never stood a chance. I'm sure that it must have looked quite amusing to innocent passersby to see someone with a pink bandana around their head follow someone else with a pink bandana around their arm at a very unsafe distance. I would have laughed. After I got his ID I had to hurry off to my next class, but on my way I saw yet another human. He was on his bike and he saw me (pink bandanas on heads can generally be spotted from a mile away) and we kind of glared at one another and I kept turning around, wanting to go after him and he kept watching me walk away, ready to bolt, but quite confused, I'm sure, when I kept walking the other way. I had just eaten anyhow. I'll let some other hungry zombie claim him. That is unless I see him tomorrow...

After all my classes were over I decided to walk through the SUB and enter by way of the music building despite it being completely out of the way. There are always a lot of humans near or in the music building or the common area just outside it (but still indoors, unfortunately). I did end up seeing someone and I followed him down the long hall of the common area (which was quite awkward, because, as I mentioned before, pink bandanas around foreheads tend to stick out), but he just went to sit with his friends. Someone did yell out a warning to him though. I suppose that scenario was quite comical to watch as well. I love the music building. Band kids are awesome, vocal majors are funny, and theatre majors are... theatre majors. I don't know how exactly to explain the latter. Vocal majors are funny, for lack of a better word, because they think they know everything there is to know about music. This past week colleges from all over Texas came for a contest that was being held at my university. My friends Hannah and Kylie just so happened to be among them and while I was sitting outside of a practice room that was being occupied by Kylie I heard a group of vocals walk by and then stop talking to listen. One of them said 'they're pushing too much', in reference to someone in one of the practice rooms and the rest murmured in agreement. As far as theatre majors go, at my university in the common area by the music building you can always find a group of theatre/vocal majors sitting at a table (same table every day) chit-chatting about theatery and vocal stuff. I know it's weird, but I like listening to other people's conversations sometimes. Sometimes I go to the dining hall that is inside of the honors dorm and drop some eves in there. Honors kids are so weird. Their conversations are hilarious. My roommate and I do that a lot. They say the most interesting things. It's crazy the people you meet in college...

Then since I was in the SUB I had a (very good) fruit salad for lunch. Brains for breakfast and fruit for lunch. Today was a good day.

Anyway, I've been getting a lot of weird stares from people on campus today because of the pink bandana. I've learned, however, that if you just stare back they eventually get uncomfortable and look away. Except for this one guy outside of the music building. He wasn't playing, but he had no problem looking at me even though I was staring right back at him. No shame at all. Interesting.

My last kill involved a sort of chase. I was going to meet Reid at the library so that we could hunt together and double team some people, but along the way I met Sam, a boy who had offered to help with the game for next semester. I saw his pink bandana around his head and asked him if he wanted to hunt with Reid and I. He agreed so we went to meet Reid. We found him and he was going to go into the library to record his latest kill on one of the computers, but before going pointed out one of his friends, who was still a human and was also very unsuspectingly reading a book between the two buildings. Sam went around the back way and I started to walk up to her side. She noticed us and got up. I apologised that we were being so creepy at the moment and also for what was about to happen. She took out two nerf balls (not the footballs. More like the snitch sized ones. They were the only weapon allowed on my campus, unfortunately) and started inching toward the library entrance. She threw one ball at me. I ducked. Then she threw the other one at Sam who successfully dodged it and started running toward the library. I caught up with her and received my second index card of the day.

Tomorrow all of the zombies are planning a killing spree by the band practice lot. We are going to attack right after band is released. I'm excited. Before that though, I am going to try and tag Anthony, the guy in charge of CTF and who's been coordinating with me for the HvZ finale on Friday. He posted on the group that he is going to be by the ESC at approximately 9:15 and then by the SUB at 10:30-11. I want to try and get him at the ESC so I am going to get up extra early. I didn't even know where the ESC was so I had to look it up on the campus map. Then I set my alarm to wake me good and early. I feel like kind of a creeper. I'll let you know how it goes though.

Update on the guy thing: he only texted me 8 times yesterday and that was without me replying so as to not encourage him in any way. I responded the first day (Monday) because I felt bad for not doing so. I always feel kind of bad when my text messages go unanswered. But then I realised that it was truly getting ridiculous and he was texting for no reason at all other than to just say 'hey'. Fortunately, Paul and Christine have agreed to go with me to the drive-in. I haven't told Matt yet. I'm not really sure how to. I guess I'm just going to do it really casually. By they way, thank you again to Emily and Elisabeth for your advice. I really appreciate it. And in answer to your question, Emily, I am going to Florence. Specifically APICIUS School for Hospitality.

One other good thing that happened to me today is that Sam Freidman commented on my video on YouTube. At first when I saw the comment notification thing I thought that she had just replied to a comment that I had left on her latest video because she does that because she's cool. But then I saw that she had commented on one of my own videos. Needless to say I was pretty freakin happy. She is cool. I wish I lived in New York. A lot of super cool people (Emily) live in NYC and I feel like I'm missing out. Stupid Texas (I could write several blogs on my qualms with Texas. Maybe I'll start a series).

Currently Reading:

An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

Currently Listening:

Switching between Bad Romance by Lady Gaga, 3 by Brittany Spears, and I've Got Nothing by the Chartjackers.

He keeps texting...

Lunch went OK. It's nice to talk. But that's pretty much it. Honestly, I don't see it going any further. Key word being I. I think he has other ideas. And it's not just because of the age. Emily and Elisabeth, you were right. The age really doesn't matter. I think I was just confused and freaked out because I don't really like him. You know when you talk to a guy and you think, 'man, I wish he would ask me out.'? Well that didn't happen with him. Nothing did. We just talked because we were on the same team, but I didn't think anything of it or start playing the What-if game like I tend to usually do (SO annoying!).

He's texted me 18 times today. 18! Once to just say good morning and another time to ask what was up. It's kind of been driving me crazy (understatement. Maybe it's just me, but 18 seems like a bit much). What the heck am I supposed to do though?! We are going to the drive-in on Thursday to see Christmas Carol and Where the Wild Things Are (he originally wanted to see Paranormal Activity, but I told him that I hate scary movies). I don't really know what I should tell him. I think it would be cool to be friends with him because he's really nice, but I would really love to avoid the whole 'I hope we can still be friends' thing because, really, who wants to hear that? No one.

I really don't need a boyfriend right now anyway. I've been stressing out so much about this HvZ thing and about study abroad and now I'm worried that I'm going to the wrong university. I was planning on writing a blog about the last of those, but then this whole ordeal came up and I was bombarded with texts.

Help.

Have I got something for you...

So today has been quite eventful. I went to an Episcopal Church for the first time and it was really neat! Lots of rituals. There were prayers for everything. Prayers for travelers, children, people suffering from addiction, elders, and about 4 different prayers to chose from before eating a meal. They also put a lot of things into song. Like normal things that would usually just be spoken were put in a sing song voice. It was neat, but also kind of funny. They were all really nice. There weren't many people my age. It was mostly middle age and parents with children. They cook for the homeless every week so I introduced myself to the lady in charge and got all signed up with a group. I'm quite excited. The only reason I found this church is because I google searched Church of England in my area. This was the only thing that came up and since my roommate was gone I decided to be adventurous and stray away from the usual Baptist service. I wish I could go more often. I'm not sure how the roommate would feel about Episcopalian church though.

After church I went to the new Barnes and Noble for which I have been anxiously awaiting the grand opening for quite some time. I bought The Muppet Christmas Carol. If only if wasn't for the limited (slash unimpressive) cash that flowed through my bank account, I would have gone wild! They had classic Who!! And Skins (but only series 2 and I'm on series 3). They had an entire section of British TV. They also had Torchwood Series 2, but like I said, limited cash flow.

Then, after spending far too much time there I went back to campus to watch a Quidditch game. It was a lot of fun to watch and looks really fun to play. I will definitely do it next year. The snitch was very cute, but is, alas, a senior (sad face).

After Quidditch I stressed a lot about Humans v Zombies because the site wasn't working out and I couldn't get a hold of anyone! It's all fixed now though, so that's good. A lot of people have withdrawn from the game though so that sucks. Administration didn't like the idea of guns being used even though they were toys (and the fact that it says ages 6 and up on the box, for crying out loud) and they also were afraid that people would put things in the socks to make them project further and, therefore, make them hurt more. So we had to say no guns which was a bummer because Nerf guns are cool. And because Walmart decided to put the huge one on sale for about $10. Typical. There are about 550 people in the facebook group, but only 242 people registered. I was supposed to close registration 9 minutes ago, but I'm hoping a few more decide to do it. I'm anxious to get this started. I want it to be fun again.

A few hours ago I played capture the flag on campus which is a VERY fun game. Games like that always get my blood pumping. I start seizing with excitement! We played two games and I met a lot of friendly people. There was this one freshmen boy named Matt (and this is where the title comes in). He asked me out. He was very nice and we were on the same team so we got to talk a little bit. He asked me if I was going to play again next week and I said yes. Then at the end of the game when we were all about to leave he asked me for my phone number. So I gave it to him and started walking toward home when I get a text message. I thought it would be from my mum or from Sarah who was getting home tonight, but it was from him. This is our conversation:

M: Hey it's Matt.

L: Hey!

M: Lol that was fun. Goin home?

L: Yup. Gotta study. You?

M: Yup. Registering. Free later this week maybe?

L: Hmmm... other than pretending there's a zombie apocalypse going on, I should be free.

M: Lol well would you be interested in a date?

L: *Long pause* Yeah

M: Awesome. Sounds good. Any preference to the day?

L: I have a lab that lasts until 7:30 on Tuesday, but other than that I'm pretty much free.

M: Hmm. I have class til 6 wed, tomorrow I'm good and Thursday I'm good.

L: I actually have to study tomorrow as well. Thursday?

M: Lol sounds good. Or wed after 6. Any ideas as to where/what to do?

L: I'll leave that up to you. *Goes to take shower. Comes back 7 minutes later*

M: Assuming you're studying at the moment but how late do you plan on being up?

L: About 1. I have to close registration for Humans v Zombies

M: Lol ok. Wed. Or thurs? I'm good with either

L: Thursday

M: Should I do the zombie thing?

L: Yes you should. We need people.

M: Lol ok tell me how :p

L: Search for Zombie Raiders on Facebook and follow the latest link posted.

M: All signed up :) so would you rather see a movie or go to wild west or do something else?

L: I guess a movie would be good.

M: I mean if there's anything else you'd prefer I'm open to suggestions. I just don't know what there is to do

L: LOL. Neither do I. A movie is fine with me though.

M: Lol ok. We'll figure out what movie lather. So what if I don't have a pink bandana? Lol

L: I have a few extras. I could meet you somewhere tomorrow. When/where is your first class?

M: 9 am, then one at 11 and at 12. Most near memorial circle. If you want I maybe free for lunch. :) lol

L: I would be free at 1 for lunch (I promise I only had bandanas on the mind and completely walked into this one unaware).

M: Sweet me too. We'll decide where tomorrow. Who decides the original zombies?

L: The site chooses.

M: Oh ok cool. I'm gonna laugh if I'm it and I don't get my bandana til 1 and tag you walking away from lunch or something :p

L: Haha. I suppose I wouldn't mind. I think it'll be gun being a zombie.

M: Lol ya me too. I added you on facebook btw. Had lots of fun playin ctf and you're really cute so it should be a good week :p

L: *After even longer pause* I had fun too.

M: Good. I look forward to lunch. As for now, I've gotta get to bed. I'll text you tomorrow :)

The end.

Biggest issue on my mind is the fact that he's a freshmen and I don't even know if he's 18 and I'm 20! I'm like a grandmother! And what the heck do I say to that 3rd from the last line?! *Sigh*. My friend Kelsey has advised me to just go for it. She is nice and I'm really glad (although slightly embarrassed) that she talked me through it and all that. She's beautiful so I'm sure she's had things like this happen plenty of times.

I'm going to bed. Any advice you may have would be more than welcome. : )

Buona notte

I can't think of a title...

First, I want to thank those that commented on my last post.  I seriously wasn't expecting any comments at all and especially not the ones that I got since it was so impromptu and took all of 3 minutes to write.  Elisabeth and Emily, you both are so sweet and I am really grateful that you not only read my blog, but left me such nice things to read!  All of you are great and I like you a lot.  :)

Second: 

I wasn't planning on turning my computer at all when I got back tonight because I finally caved and bought Catching Fire instead of waiting for it to come in to the library (I am impatient) and was planning to read that instead of the usual internet visits.  I figured I could just do my usual routine tomorrow morning while waiting for Hulu to load Glee.  But when I was taking a break from reading a few moments ago and got on FB via iPhone, I saw that Nina Jankowicz had updated her status to say that she had written a blog about her new song.  So I got excited and decided to take an even longer break from reading turn on the computer after all so that I could listen and tell her how wonderful it/she is.  I was not disappointed.  It is amazing.  If you are reading this then you should stop right now so that you can go listen to her song.  She inspires me. Although I'm not sure how, since I've long ago came to the realisation that I can't write songs to save my life.  But she makes me want to write songs and be good at music regardless of my lack of talent or to at least be good at something.  

Thirdly: 

We had to move the HvZ game back a week so that we could meet with this council for outdoor activities so that they could bombard us with questions about it to make sure that it's safe.  I met with the director for student activities and he was really helpful and nice and told me what it was going to be like and not to get intimidated.  I probably will get intimidated so I am making Paul come with me.  He seriously keeps me sane.  I get stressed out so easily and make everything a bigger deal than it has to be and he is there to remind me that it is supposed to be fun.  Without him I would have a mental breakdown before crashing and burning.  And he does a lot of things for the group including getting on the email announcements so that we can advertise and sending out the message saying that we were going to have to postpone so that I wouldn't have to deal with any more crap.  I have been dealing with a lot of crap too.  Some of the members (mainly the guys) have been so whiney.  One guy commented on the group saying that we needed to get on the ball and promote this thing and remind people to register on the official site.  And then this other idiot commented and said, 'Yeah, you tell them who's boss".  So after I let my anger subside I signed back on and replied in a very professional manner saying that we were working on it and that it was a lot more work than we thought and we were trying to organise everything while ensuring that everyone was going to be safe and how we wanted to give the group members time to register on their own time while the games weren't here yet before reminding them so as to not bombard them with unnecessary messages.  I said it in a way that was professional whilst still, if you read between the lines, said to chill the eff out and get off our backs because we were doing the best we could.  If I have to deal with another person implying my incompetence I am going to choke a bitch.  Really.  I think he got the message though and Paul replied saying, "You tell them, Lauren!  You are the boss!" so that was encouraging and nice.  The group now has over 300 members and literally gets a new one about every 5 minutes or so.  It's kind of crazy and I think I've been so stressed out because I don't want to let down and disappoint a lot of people.  Hopefully everything works out with the council.  I make it sound like I'm appearing before Samuel L Jackson and a Yoda puppet.  Maybe I should imagine it like that so that it won't be that intimidating.  

Currently Listening:  

Obviously. 

Currently Reading: 

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins.  I am weak.  

I have a lot to do...

I thought that after I got all of the paper work signed and mailed off to ISA that I would get some relief.  I was wrong.  I now have Band Fan and Human v Zombie stuff to organise.  Honestly, I should have started on the Zombie thing a LONG time ago.  I just read a lot of the 'How to get started' stuff on the website and it is so much!  Apparently people get started several months in advance!  Our game starts next week and we haven't even properly advertised yet!  I'm trying to schedule a last minute photo shoot of Paul and I with nerf guns while the campus is deserted so that we look really BA, but everyone's schedules are complicated.  The idea is getting more and more popular.  We gain a new member on the facebook group about every 5 minutes.  It's great, but it's also kind of nerve wracking.  It would be great if I wasn't going home this weekend because I could get a lot of stuff together and go to the big game, but unfortunately I am.  I really don't want to. It's kind of weird that I'm so bothered by going home now.  It doesn't really feel like home anymore.  It just feels awkward.  And it's my friend's birthday on Friday.  I'm not really sure how I feel about seeing her.  Of course she's my friend and I love her, but she isn't very good at long-distance friendships and keeping in touch.  I called her last Tuesday to tell her the good news about me officially being accepted and going to Italy, but she never called back.  I'm probably over-analysing things(like I always do).  It just really sucks when she does that and I always end up taking it personally no matter how many times I tell myself not to and remind myself that she does this because that's her and that I have to stop thinking that she'll call me and want to talk to me all the time even though that's what I would do.  She's her and I'm me.  Unfortunately that idea never seems to penetrate and I end up getting sad anyway.  I'm sure she'll be happy to see me and act like nothing is wrong because in reality there isn't.  

I'm going to see Zombieland with Christine and Amanda.  That should give me all the confidence I need to accomplish all of this zombie stuff.  Wish me luck!  

PS.  If you are new then thank you so much for following my blog!  It's actually really exciting (despite being incredibly lame that I think it's so exciting) that I can no longer count my blog followers on one hand.  :-)  

I'll post about my weekend later.  

The Logic of Christmas Lights and the Opposite Sex

Today has been very lazy.  I woke up to a phone call from my roommate (who is currently visiting family at home) at about 8:30 AM because she was signing up for rooms for next year since we couldn't get it to work last night.  So she told me which room she signed up for and I quickly got dressed, threw my glasses on, and walked to the library since for some completely idiotic reason, I'm sure, the housing website would not support any other browser besides Internet Explorer and Firefox, rendering my brilliant personal computer completely useless.  It was cold, but I signed up successfully and now I have an apartment style dorm on campus with a kitchen to look forward to! It's no Florentien apartment, but it sure is a lot better than the one we are living in now.  I also got some other things printed off and then had a rather later than usual breakfast which has now thrown off my entire eating schedule for today.  But it was cool because I had Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a lot of strawberries :-)

Last night was very Christmas-y despite it being October.  It was rainy and cold and I went over to Paul's with Christine, Amanda, and Reid and we had Turkey, with mashed potatoes, peas, and really good store-bought rolls for dinner.  Then I went home and turned the Christmas music on again and started hanging up my Christmas lights.  I got these last year and they are really cool.  They're multi-coloured and they twinkle and I like them a lot.  I had to rearrange stuff so that I could stand on the desk and the (extremely narrow!) bookcase so that I could hang them up. After I got up all of the tacks in the wall and started to hang them up I noticed that half of the line had decided to go out somewhere between me testing them and the tack placement.  I was upset.  They aren't even a year old!  I called my mom and asked her why this had happened since, being a mother, she obviously has experience and knows about this stuff.  She told me that if one light goes out or is loose then sometimes the whole line would go out.  Great.  Basically I got kind of upset and frustrated over the logic of Christmas lights and even more upset and frustrated when I could not, for the life of me get the stupid offending green lightbulb out of the rest of the line!  At one point when I was on the phone with my mum I was trying really hard to get it out while she was on speaker phone.  I started to put the tiny bulb in my mouth to attempt to get it out with my teeth before I stopped, looked up, followed the still lit up line to the electrical socket, and then walked over to unplug it.  Real smart, Lauren.  Finally I got the stupid thing out with some scissors (don't even ask).  So now I just have to find a place that will sell replacement bulbs which wouldn't normally be a difficult task if it wasn't October.

Recording this story just now actually made me think of my Christmas light escapade last year. My parents were at work, as usual and it was kind of late in the season for us to be hanging up lights since we usually do it soon after Thanksgiving.  My mum said that we probably wouldn't do many lights this year because they had a lot of work to do and were never home to put them up. So, naturally, I located the Christmas decorations, unpacked the lights, sorted, tested, and went to work.  Luckily all of the lines seemed to work so I went outside and planned where I was going to put them.  The normal big, red, glass bulbs would of course go around the front door.  So that just left a huge amount of little blue lights (probably from the swim school), and a lot of plain white as well as white icicle lights to be hung around the house.  So I got on the very steep roof, despite the cold and started decorating.  I know what a stickler my sister Whitney is for straight lights, so I tried my hardest to get the non-icicle ones to be straight.  I never thought I was afraid of heights until I sat crouched on the very edge of the steepest part of the roof to plug in the lights to the giant extension cord.  It took two days, but eventually I got them all hung up and was ready to plug it in and light em up.  It looked really cool and I was pretty proud of myself.  But, alas, what would this blog entry be if there wasn't a problem?  Not a very good plot line, that's what.  On the second day of the lights being up, one of the lines decided to kick it.  It was the one that I had spent 3 hours on a ladder the very cold night before hanging up.  Typical.  And let me tell you, working with those stupid (although I am actually grateful for them) little plastic things that keep the lights in place with wholly gloves on is NOT an easy task!  Everyone appreciated them anyhow and were very nice and told me that I had done a good job and marveled how much time I had spent on the roof putting them up.  Defeated, I went inside to set up the little Christmas village.  I love setting up the Christmas village.  It's always snowy and has a giant Christmas tree in the very centre.  This was my favourite activity when I was little and it was always the first thing up.  Sometimes before Thanksgiving if my mum would let me. 

Coupled with the Christmas gift story from my last entry, I can say that last Christmas was pretty rebellious.  What can I say?  I don't eff around when it comes to Christmas.  Who knows what will happen this year!  

Now we reach the opposite sex part of the blog...

Sigh... Why do the guys you want to like you never notice you or see you as "just a friend", but the guys you definitely don't want to like you always do?  Why does it have to be like this?!  That is so epically frustrating!  Basically, loveacrosstheocean, if you are reading this, I definitely sympathise with your current boy dilemma as I am currently having one of my own.  My friend Paul's roommate David who went to the corn maze with us is in band and is really kind of cute in my opinion.  He plays trumpet and was in DCI with the Blue Devil's (hot).  He's really nice and funny and of course, being me, I started the "what-if" game (what a crappy game!).  Then there's this kid named Michael, who is one of our other friend's roommate and I think he kind of has a thing for me.  It might just be him being nice (really nice), but I'm going to put the pieces right here on the blog for you, my hopefully existent blog readers to figure out.  At the football game Saturday it was really cold and I was there with Michael, Christine, Amanda, and Paul.  He was sitting one person away at first, but then after people left to smoke and then just eventually sought the indoors away from the freezing mist, he motioned for me to scoot over.  He's a pretty nice (if not weird on occasions) guy so I did and we exchanged pleasantries and awkward small talk and what not.  I was kind of shivering from lack of protective socks underneath my converse and he asked if I was cold.  I said yes and he started trying to generate heat by rubbing my back (which did absolutely nothing except make me feel awkward and avoid eye contact).  He did that for about a minute, which is a lot longer than it seems.  Go ahead.  Count to 60 mississippilly and tell me that isn't a long time.  Then he held out his hands and asked me if my hands were cold.  I said no because they were nice and warm inside my jacket pockets.  So after that one of the guys that I don't really know came back from his smoke break and I invited him into his previous spot between Michael and I.  It was around the end of the third quarter when Christine told me that they had left to eat at one of the dining halls so I was about to leave when Michael looked behind his friend, touched me lightly on the back of the elbow and asked me to go out to eat after the game with him and his other friends that I didn't really know all that well.  I told him that I was actually just about to leave and go meet the others so he didn't press it, but instead wished me a good weekend.  

Now let's talk about David some more.  He went home for the fall break so he didn't have Turkey dinner with us, which I was kind of disappointed about.  He was brought up some how and I slyly asked about this one freshmen girl, Morgan who I had seen sitting by him on the couch with his arm around her towards the beginning of the year.  "What about Morgan?  Are they going out?  I thought I saw him with his arm around her towards the beginning of the semester."  

"No!  He doesn't even care for her that much!"  Christine said aggrievedly.  "That's my point!  He does that all the time!"  

"You mean he's a player?  He doesn't seem like that kind of guy."

"No, he doesn't, but he totally is.  He brings a different girl to the apartment every week, sits on the couch with them, and watches Stardust."  agreed Paul.  

"Stardust?"  

"Yes.  Stardust.  I don't know why, but that's what happens." 

I disappointedly mulled that one over in my head a bit.  Stardust?  What the eff?  Now, admittedly, I have never seen this movie, but it doesn't seem like that much of a guy favourite.  It has Prince Caspian (aka Ben Barnes) in it so I can see why it would be a girl favourite.  I am confused.  No wonder Stardust is always on the top of their tettering pile of DVDs.  Anyway, the fact that he's kind of a player was definitely a turn off so that crush is gone.  Which is good.  I'm still kind of stressing over the Michael thing though.  It's not that I don't like him and he's nice to hang out with every once in a while (as long as other people are around because I can't really see a one-on-one conversation ever moving past awkward), but I just don't nerdfighterlike him.  Help.  No really.  If you have advice then please share.  I've never had a boyfriend so I'm pretty new at this stuff (kind of pathetic, I know).  I was, however asked out in high school, but that's for another blog post.  

I would write and get annoyed about the "just friends" thing, but I think this entry has been long enough.  

PS.  Sorry that all of my blogs are insanely long.  If you haven't lost patience and are still reading to this point then thank you so much.  I love you for doing that.  That is all.  

Currently reading:  Just finished Waiter Rant.  It was quite thought provoking at times and I really enjoyed it.  It was pretty frustrating when reading about the customers and I could never have his patience.  

Currently listening:  Nothing.  Maybe I'll go watch Stardust on YouTube and see what the fuss is about.  

Moral of this blog entry:  Murphy's Law sure is a bitch.